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“Team USA and Team GB, please send out your Farters for the second round!” Exclaimed the judge.

“WIND!” Shouted Coach Todd. “Get yer ass out there and do what you do best!”

“Fart, coach?” Asked Serafina.

“No…” replied coach “WIN.”

“You got it!” She said, jogging onto the fart square

“YEEEEEAAAAH! ABOUT TIME YOU PUT HER IN, TODD!” Yelled a Team USA fan.

“(Sniffles) THAT GIRL RIGHT THERE IS A FUCKING AMERICAN HERO!!” Yelled another fan, wiping a tear away from his eye.

“I’m the greatest! I’m the greatest! I’m the greatest! Can’t nobody stop me! Can’t nobody just waltz through the Wind farm without taking a whiff!” Serafina said under her breath.

“Waltz through the wind farm, innit? Did you come up with that crap on your own?” Said one of the players from Team GB walking into the fart square.

“Umm, excuse me? And who do you think you’re talkin to with that shitty ass makeup? Your foundation don’t even match your skin tone, boo.” Said Serafina, pointing to her poorly done makeup.

“I’m chattin to you, bruv! Are you dumb?” Said the Team GB player.

“Me? Talk to me when you pick a better color of lipstick than beige, sand lips!” Said Serafina.

“Fitting that I’m sand lips, since there’s a fucking camel in the room with us!” Said the player, pointing to Serafina’s crotch, which was unfortunately ‘eating’ her shorts very visibly…

Serafina covered her crotch with both of her hands and backed away. “Keep your eyes off my coochie!”

“That ‘ting? No one can keep their peepers off that fuckin monstrosity of a vagina bruv!”

“Pffffft! Kiss my gas! You fucking nobody!”

“Hehe. Guess I should properly introduce myself, yeah?”

“Bitch I don’t care who yo’ ass is!”

—

Farter Profile: Shelly Thornton 🇬🇧

Age: 24

Race/Ethnicity: White/Caucasian (English 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿)

Physical Appearance: 5’8, 165 lbs, dirty blonde hair, thick eyebrows, green eyes, bad makeup, slightly curvy figure, big butt, DD cup breasts, Team GB hoodie, Team GB yoga shorts

Hometown: London, England, United Kingdom

Achievements: United Kingdom Fart Champion (2022),

Fart Speciality: Sound, force, smell

Nickname: Bunda blasta

—

“Yo, you keep disrespecting man! Looks like I’m gonna have to drop a verse on you, pussyhole!” Yelled Thornton.

“A verse? You mean like, rap? pfffHAHAHA!” Giggled Serafina. “…Are you REALLY that fucking corny?”

Thornton pulled out her phone. A slow, melodic, UK drill rap beat started playing. Serafina rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Oh my god, she’s fucking serious,” Serafina said, now putting her face in her palm.

“Uh, yo, wagwan… last name Thornton, first name Shelly! Just ate a big meal, gotta lotta food in my belly! This match is nationally televised, yeah, it’s gonna be on the telly! Gonna win the IWFC, then I’m gonna hit a celly!”

“PLEASE. STOP.” Yelled Serafina.

“I really like to fart! I really consider it an art! Although I sometimes shart… that still don’t mean I won’t tear your ass apart!”

“Listening to you rap is worse than CIA torture!” Whined Serafina, now covering her ears.

“Yo, I’m from South London, yeah, the Africans call me Bunda Blasta! My ass pollutes the atmosphere, better call NASA! I can send mandem flying to space after I eat some Asda! That’s facts, ya!”

“Can you at least TRY to have a flow?” Said Serafina.

“I don’t fancy Americans, yeah, I’m Amera-phobic! Ima European ballin on yanks like it’s the NBA, call me Nikola Jokic! But I ain’t Greek or Roman, yeah, I ain’t no stoic! But I’ll be happy running circles around you, no aerobic!”

“OK! I’ve heard enough! Turn that shitty beat off, please!” Screamed Serafina.

The beat stopped, and she put her phone back in her pocket. “Bars were too fire for you, huh?”

“No, it’s just that I was contemplating suicide hearing you rap!” Shouted Serafina. “You are the SORRIEST rapper I’ve ever heard!”

“Ugh! Whatever. ” Thornton Said, as she flipped her hair to the side. “Just get ready to get absolutely BLASTED by my farts, yank!”

“Ladies, can we stop with the talk? Positions please!” Said the judge.

Both of them stood before the judge as he knelt down behind both of their asses.

“On your marks…”

“Get set…”

“FART!”

“HMMMMPPHHNNNNGG! C’mon ass, I need you to rip one!” Roared Serafina.

RRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBLLLLLAAAAARRRRRTTTTT!

“(Sniff) oh god, that is bad! Fucking vile!” Said Thornton, holding her nose.

Serafina directed the smell towards Thornton. “Yeeeeaaah sniff that up hoe! I made sure to have extra asparagus and black beans this morning!”

“Hold on, I’ve got one for you right here! HNNNNNNNGGG!” Replied Thornton.

SHHLLAAARRPLPLPLPLPLP

Thornton released a quick, loud, wet sounding, bubbly fart.

“Oooh now we’re talking!” Said Thornton, as she reached down into the back of her shorts and readjusted her thong. “oooh, that’s gonna itch when if dries… probably shouldn’t have worn a damn thong today…”

SHHHHHHHHLLLLAAAAAAAAARRRRPPLPLPLPLPLPRRRRRLIPLILILIPLIPLIPLIP!!

“Ooooooh bursa escort now THAT’S definitely gonna itch when it dries! Might’ve gotten a little residue on my hands…” Said Thornton, after cutting another loud, bubbly fart.

“HAHA! You’ve awakened the bear now, Americunt!” Screamed McGillivray from the Team GB bench.

“You are NASTY! Just plain NASTY” Said Serafina backing away from her, covering her nose from the indescribable shit smell. “(Huuuuaaaghh!) (Haaaack!)”

Thornton walked closer to her and repeatedly beat her chest. “I came to play bruv! You lot ain’t stomping all over GB like you did Mexico! HNNNNNGGG!”

PLLLAAAAAAARRRRPPPPTBLBLBLblblblblblb

“Fuuuuuccck yesss! Feel 20 pounds lighter after ripping that one!” Said Thornton, fanning her ass towards Serafina.

“(Sniiiiff) oh hell no! Guess I gotta fight shit with shit!” Said Serafina, pointing her ass towards Thornton.

SSSSSHHHHPLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT

“(Sniiiif) Psssshh! Are you mad?” Said Thornton rolling her eyes “You think you can cut stinkier farts than man right here? Puuh-leease!”

PIIIIIIEEEEERRRRRRRUMMMMMMPPPPTT!

BRRRRIIIIIIIIIIMMMMPPPTT!

“DON’T LET HER OUT FART YOU, WIND!!!” Shouted Coach Todd “C’MON NOW!!”

SHHHHHLLLUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPP

“Wheeew! I’m on a roll! Better keep up, bitch!” Said Thornton cheekily.

“Ooooh I GOT something for you!” Replied Serafina.

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFPFPFFPFPFPF!!!

“NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN ABOUT GIRL!! LET IT RIP!!” Yelled Coach Todd.

“Damn! I think I might’ve exhausted all my gas!” Serafina mumbled to herself, as she tried to push out more farts.

“Twenty seconds! Twenty seconds left in the second round!” Announced the judge.

“Twenty seconds?! Welp, here goes nothing. I’m dropping the fuckin’ bomb!” Said Thornton.

SHHHHLLLAAAAPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPSHSLSHLSHLSHSLSHLSHLshlshlshl

Thornton ripped yet another watery fart, this one sounding significantly more dangerous than her last ones, as well as leaving a bit more “juices”.

“BLOODY HELL!!! THORNTON?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OUT HERE PASSING RISKY SOUNDING GAS?! YOU’RE GONNA SHART AND COST US POINTS YOU DIMWIT!!!” Roared the Team GB coach from the sideline.

“NAAAAHH COACH! I GOTTA SHOW THIS YANK WASSUP INNIT!! SHE WAS TALKIN MAD SHIT TO MAN BEFORE THE MATCH BRUV!!” Yelled Thornton back, as she strained to push out another fart.

SHHHHLLLLLAAARPPLPLPLPLPLPLSSSSH

“GOD DAMMIT THORNTON!!! BE SMARTER WITH YOUR WIND BREAKING!!!” THINK WITH YOUR FUCKING NOGGIN FOR ONCE, NOT YOUR BUM!!! CHRIST ALMIGHTY!! YOU’RE GONNA COST US THE ROUND!” He roared again.

“I GOT THIS COACH, I SWEAR! I WON’T SHART!! I PROMISE!! HHHNNNNNNPPPHHH!”

FRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTTSSSHHHHHHUUUUPPPLLLTTTSSSSsfsflipflipssssss

Thornton, after cutting such a large fart suddenly felt a wet, mushy sensation in between her asscheeks. “Uhhhh… oopsies!”

“That sounded wet honey… you might wanna check those panties…” Said Serafina, holding her nose from the extremely pungent shit smell.

“Did she just shart? Did she just fucking shart?!! God dammit!” Said the coach of Team GB, throwing his cap down onto the floor. “She’s an idiot I tell you! AN IDIOT!!”

“Waiyda cost us the damn round you fucking bampot! Me mam can rip drier farts than that and she’s had her gallbladder removed! Vapid fuckin chav!” Screamed McGillivray from the sidelines.

“Oh why don’t you shut the hell up Gilly!” Yelled Thornton to McGillivray. “I didn’t bloody shart!”

“TIME! Ladies, stop the ass ripping and let me see those undergarments!” The judge walked over and checked Serafina’s panties. “Hmmmm…” he said to himself as he inspected them “…seems to be very mild fecal matter scattered across the ass part, might have to dock a couple points…”

“Mild fecal matter for Team USA!” Announced the judge.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, he’s walkin’ my way… please don’t have shat yourself again Shelly! Pleeeeaaase!” Said Thornton, crossing her fingers.

As the judge checked her panties, he saw a hefty amount of liquid shit splattered across the back of Thornton’s thong as well as the inside of her shorts. “Jesus Christ! Major fecal matter for Team GB!”

“Final score of the round: Team USA 7, Team GB 5!”

“WHAAAAAAT??!” Yelled a fan of Team GB “HOW PREPOSTEROUS!!!”

“MATCH IS FUCKIN RIGGED BRUV!!!” Shouted another fan.

Thornton began to blush excessively. “I… umm.. may have sharted! My bad guys! Hehehehe…” She giggled nervously, as her coach shot her a death stare.

“THORNTOOOOOON!!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, balling up his fists.

“Oh you STUPID CUNT!!” Screamed McGillivray.

—

“Waiyda hold onto that lead Wind, only one more round and we got this thing in the bag!” Said Coach Todd, patting her on the back as she sat back down on the bench. “And it looks like those Brit’s are rightfully bursa escort bayan getting on that player’s ass for totally throwing the round!” Said Coach, pointing to the GB bench where Thornton was thoroughly being chewed out by her coach.

“Coach, I’m outta gas… I don’t think I can go back in the next round!” Said Serafina.

“That’s alright, we got a whole team for a reason, don’t we?” Responded Coach Todd, as she scanned the bench, deciding who to put in next. “Let’s see… ummm… Thunderhawk! Get yer ass in there and close out this match! Bring us home girl!”

“Yaaaayy! Will do coach!” She said, as she bolted up out of her seat onto the fart floor.

“Hey, be smart though! Don’t be like that assclown on Team GB who was letting off all those watery farts!” Exclaimed Coach.

“Uggghh… c’mon Juliana, put me in! You already know Thunder’s just gonna trust some dangerous-feeling fart and shit her pants like she always does like every damn year for Christ’s sake!” Complained Giordano on the bench.

“Hey! Have some damn faith in your teammate Giordano!” Said Coach Todd. “And did you just call me by my first name, missy?”

“What? Juliana’s your name ain’t it?”

“Call me Coach! It’s a thing called respect. Ever heard of it?”

“No, actually. I mean, I was raised by wolves y’know!”

“Wolves? Don’t you mean parents?”

“Oh, you mean Lucy and Donnie? Yeah, same fuckin thing…”

“Jesus, mommy AND daddy issues… vicious combination.” Coach Todd mumbled to herself, while walking away.

“Team GB! Please send out your farter!” Announced the judge.

“Alright bruv, alright bruv I’m comin’!” Said the player, as she slowly drug her feet to the square.

—

Farter profile: Veena Yadav 🇬🇧

Age: 22

Race/Ethnicity: Asian (British Indian 🇬🇧🇮🇳) (Punjabi 🇮🇳)

Physical Appearance: 5’3, 170 lbs, carmel brown skin, thick black hair, thick/chubby figure, thick thighs, big butt, flabby stomach, G cup breasts

Hometown: London, England, United Kingdom

Fart Speciality: Smell, frequency

Nickname: Devil’s Dung

—

“Wagwan, weird girl,” said Yadav, outstretching her hand towards Thunderhawk for a handshake. “Names Veena but the mates call me Devil’s Dung, y’know, cuz of my stinky farts!”

“Ummm, I’m Rosie, and, my, uhhh… ‘mates’ call me Thunder, for my extremely loud, bubbly, and stinky farts. Uhhh… ‘wag-wan’ to you too, I guess?” Said Thunderhawk, shaking her hand.

“Yo, what’s with the big ass feather in your hair bruv?” Asked Yadav.

“Oh it’s actually a part of my cultural heritage! I’m a Indigenous American, Lakota Tribe to be exact. You see, in-“

A confused look grew on Yadav’s face. “Umm… Indigenous?”

“Yeah like, American Indian, Y’know?”

“Wait you’re Indian? No way bruv I’m Indian too!”

“Wait, no! Not Indian like that but-“

“Never would’ve guessed you were Indian. Maybe Mexican or some weird version of White but Indian? Bro we’re like, family ‘n shit now…” Said Yadav, reaching out to dap her up.

“Oh! Um, I guess we can shake hands again, if that’s what you want, of course.” Said Thunderhawk, awkwardly grasping her hand back.

“So tell me.” Said Yadav. “How’d your fam get to America? Why didn’t you lot come to London like the rest of us?”

“Well….”

“Alright ladies, cut the chit chat and get into position! We got a conference finals to finish! C’mon, chop chop! Asses in my face, now!” Said the Judge.

“On your marks…”

“Get set…”

“FART!”

SHfluurpblurblurblblblblblblbssssshhfffss

Yadav came out the gates with a messy, bubbly, low fart. The fart instantly spread across the whole fart floor, hitting Thunderhawk in the face.

“Wheeew, sorry about that back there! Had a ton of Tikki masala before the match!” Said Yadav, patting her stomach.

“(Sniiiiiiiiff) (cough!) a-all good!” Coughed the judge, giving her a thumbs up.

SHHHBlblblurlblurblurb

“Oooh… that one might’ve came with company…” said Yadav, as she patted her stomach witch a nervous expression.

“Psssh! She calls those weak little air biscuits “farts”? What is this, regionals? Please! This is the freaking IWFC!” Thought Thunderhawk.

SSSSHHHHFFFFFAAAABBBBLLLTLTLTLTSSSS!

“GOOD FART THUNDER!!! KEEP BRINGING THE STORM!!” Yelled Coach Todd.

FFFFFFFRRRRBBBBLLLLAAAAATTTT!

“YOU HEAR THAT GREAT BRITAIN?! THAT’S HOW YOU RIP SOME ASS!! NOW C’MON!!” Said Coach, clapping her hands.

“Uggggh they’re gaining momentum… Don’t let them gain momentum, Yadav! Come on!! Use that fat bum of yours!! Push out some more!” Exclaimed the GB Coach.

“HHMMMMPPPPHHH!” Strained Yadav, trying to push out a loud fart.

BBBRRRAAAAAAPPPT!

“MMMMMPPPHHH!”

PRRrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRIIIIIPPP!

“MMMMPPPPHH! DON’T FAIL ME NOW, BUM!!” Said Yadav.

RRRRRrrrRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrIIIIIIIIBBBBLLT!

“Whew, that one took a bit more force than the others! Didn’t wanna come out!” She said, patting her stomach again.

GGGGGWWWWAAAAAUUUULLLPP!

“Oh escort bayan god, I’m falling behind! I gotta rip ass, quick!” Thunderhawk thought to herself “mmmph! I need you to fart, ass!”

rrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRIIIIIIBBBLLLLLLTTTTSSSsssssssflflflf!

“No! She farted again!” Thought Thunderhawk.

“Better keep up bruv or I might steal this match!” Said Yadav.

Thunderhawk viciously strained her stomach, pushing all she could to release any sort of gas.

“GRRRRRR! Fart! Fart!” She loudly whispered to herself.

(gurgle)

She felt her stomach bubble a little. “Hehe… now we’re talking!”

(guuuuuurrrrgggle)

“Nnnggggg! Just… gotta… keep… pushing!!”

(Guuuuuurrrrgggggllllleeee)

“Alright… now I gotta let it fly!!”

SSSHHHHHHHHHHFFFLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAABBBBBLLLLLAAAABLLLBBBLBBBLBLBLBAAAAAATTTFFFSSSssssflflflfipplplplp!

Out of her ass erupted an absolute bomb of a fart, overpowering the faint smell of Tikki Masala that had been lingering from Yadav’s farts with a strong, vegetabe-ley smell.

“OOOOOHHH YEEEEAAAH!” She exclaimed. “STORM IS HERE!”

“(Haaaaaaccckk!) oh that is fuckin bad, bro!” Said Yadav, backing away from her, holding her nose. “That’s worse than me after eating 5 bowls of my mum’s curry!”

Thunderhawk pushed some more, but no farts came out.

“Darn it!” She thought in her mind. “I think I might be out!”

“Cooooaachh!” She shouted. “I’m empty!”

“Got it!” Said coach, giving her a thumbs up.

Coach Todd looked back at the bench, and noticed Serafina at the edge of her seat, anxiously tapping her feet. As Serafina was tapping her feet, in the corner of her eye, she noticed Coach Todd staring right at her.

“Wind!” Said Coach Todd

Serafina directed her attention towards her, her eyes wide and practically popping out of their sockets with pure anticipation. Coach Todd said nothing to her, but nodded her head down twice.

Serafina nodded back, and bolted into the game. “Thunder, get your ass out! Mama’s comin in and she’s gaaaassssy!” Said Serafina jogging.

Thunderhawk nodded and jogged back to the bench.

FRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBLBLBLBLAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTTT!

Serafina immediately ripped a monstrous fart right in Yadav’s direction, the vegetable smell being even more powerful than Thunderhawk’s.

“(Cough, cough) ohhhh naahhh, that stench is foul! I can’t take this shit anymore!” Said Yadav, running back to her team bench.

“YADAV?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GET BACK IN THERE AND FART!!” Roared her coach.

“I’m sorry but I’m not smelling any more farts from the Americans bruv! I just can’t do it!”

“YADAAAAAAV!!”

“I’m not! I’m not gonna do it man!”

“Psshh! Coward!” Said McGillivray.

“Fuckin… useless fuck!” Said her coach under his breath. “Let’s see here… who do I substitute…”

The coach’s eyes darted towards his Team Captain, May McGillivray, who had won them the first round. She gave him an evil smile, raising her eyebrows over and over. “McGillivray! Get your arse in there and finish this match!”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice!” She said, as she ran out onto the fart square.

“Ah shit they’re putting in that Scottish bitch again! ‘Fina might be cooked!” Said Jimenez on the bench.

“Shit! This might go down to the wire!” Said Coach Todd.

“Well… it’s been a good run guys… whaddya say, drinks after?” Said Giordano, smirking.

“Alright Americunt, you’ve had a braw run but your luck ends here!” Said McGillivray walking towards Serafina.

“Luck?” Replied Serafina. “You mean whoopin’ team’s asses? If that’s luck then I guess I’m pretty fuckin’ lucky!”

“Haha. You’ve got jokes, eh? Well your team’s lookin a bit nervous! They’ve got noooo faith in your ass!” Said McGillivray, pointing to the Team USA bench. Each girl on the bench was sitting on the edge of the seat, very visibly anxious. “Why don’t you sit down and let me beat you, alright? I’ll make it quick and painless! NNNNGGGG!”

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPTT!

“(Sniiiiff) ohhhh yeah, smell those flowers! (Sniiiiiiifff) get some of that scent!” Said McGillivray, sniffing her own meaty fart and wafting it towards Serafina.

“(Sniiiif) that’s got some kick to it… beans, I presume?” Questioned Serafina.

“Aye! And some black pudding!” Said McGillivray “you like it, you dirty bitch don’tcha?”

A smile grew on Serafina’s face. “What about asparagus?”

“Asparagus? I hate asparagus! Why the hell would I-“

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPLPLPLPLPLPLPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAMMMMPPPPPPMMMMMMTTTT!

Before McGillivray could finish her sentence, she was cut off by another one of Serafina’s monstrous farts.

“(Snniiiiiff) AWWWWW JESUS!! AWWWW WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT UNHOLY FUCKIN SMELL?!!” Wailed McGillivray, falling to her knees after smelling the fart.

“C’mon lady, get up now! No floor farting! Both contestants must be standing on their feet!” Said the judge, helping her up.

“Get yer hands off me, fart sniffer!” Said McGillivray, yanking her body from his grip “So it’s war you want, huh, Americunt? Well then you’ve got yerself a fuckin’ WAAAAARRR!”

FRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEMMMMMPPPPFFFFFTTT!

“Smell that! It came from the tenth circle of hell called me ARSE!!” Said McGillivray, her ass facing in Serafina’s direction.

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