So, I did it… I told her I love her.
I’m not even sure how to explain my relationship with McKayla. At first, she symbolized all the insecurities I had about myself. Then I felt like her little toy for a while after she turned me into her submissive partner. A couple of twists and turns later and… I’m admitting I love her in the middle of having sex…
How we got to this point… I’m not even sure. It had almost become a normal thing for us to say it to each other… when we were getting intimate. However, even though I’m too nervous to say it outside of the bedroom… I really feel it when I say it…
I don’t know about her… I’m still not sure if she just says it to add fuel to our fiery sessions. The only thing I do know is my heart burns for her whenever she says she loves me…
The idea of a woman like that, who is capable of accomplishing anything in the world, saying she loves me… it’s indescribable. My heart flutters just thinking about the way it sounds coming from her lips.
It kind of feels like a dream. This whole scenario seems so implausible, but everything about it makes me happy. I guess I’m just too insecure to consider it a reality. But the weird thing about that is… I don’t even feel insecure anymore… not since I started hanging out with her…
Heck, I even feel good about myself when we hang around her friends. I was never even comfortable going out with my own group, but there I am, making friends with all the cool girls I never thought would like me.
It’s just so nice feeling accepted by others. Oddly enough, I even feel accepted by Brian, of all people. He texts me quite a bit, seeing if I’ll show up whenever McKayla hangs out with the group. But as sweet of him as that is… it’s also kind of strange…
Sometimes he texts me just to see how I’m doing… I guess not every time he talks to me has to have an agenda. But what’s odd about it is we used to date a long time ago and… he never texted me as much as he does now… Well, maybe except for when we first started seeing each other.
Anyway… I guess everything has gotten better since McKayla and I became close. I’m always happy, I’m confident, everyone seems to like me, and even my grades are getting better somehow. I guess McKayla just has that effect on my entire life.
Oh, and I forgot one more thing…
I’m in love… That’s right; I said it! I’m in love and I’m not afraid to admit it outside of sex.
I love Emily… and I’m not afraid to admit it outside of sex… but only to myself…
I say it exclusively during sex because I’m too scared to say it to her face. That’s right; Me, McKayla, is now the insecure one.
How have I become so insecure? I don’t know. But what I do know is that it makes her really happy to hear me say it. I can tell by the way she lights up when I whisper those three words into her cute little ears.
She says it back. Fuck yeah, she says it back. But I don’t know for sure if she really means it. I kind of put her in a tough spot, yelling it out while she was in the middle of making me cum. Now that she knows how much she likes hearing it, she probably feels inclined to say it back.
How did things get like this, anyway? At first, I was just having a little fun, teasing the angelic blonde for having a girl crush on me. Then, I thought she was so cute, I wanted to help her with some of her insecurities. Now, I’m the insecure one, scared to even imagine my life without her…
I don’t even have fun without Emily anymore. If she doesn’t show up when I hang out with my friends, I just spend the entire time missing her and wondering what she’s doing. That’s exactly what happened when I went out with my friends Saturday night.
I went with my normal group to the bar… Yes, the same bar where I first approached her… I had probably been there a hundred times before, but the only time that really mattered was the one time I talked to Emily.
Purposely, I sat in the same exact spot I did on that fateful night. As my friends laughed and cheered, talking about things that didn’t even matter to me, I just stared quietly over to the spot where Emily sat that night.
I swear, I could replay that entire night in my head if you asked me to. I remember what she was wearing, all her cute little mannerisms, and most importantly, the way she kept staring at me from across the room.
Yeah, I was pretty drunk that night. I guess that’s what gave me the courage to finally approach her. I thought I would be the type of woman to feed off the nervousness she displayed, but when I saw those precious blue eyes, I just wanted to coddle her for some reason. I can admit that now, but I couldn’t before. Maybe that’s why I insisted on leaving with her.
Suddenly, my nostalgic daze was interrupted when Tom tapped me on the shoulder. As I looked over, he was staring at me with a confused look on his face. “Yes?” I asked, after shaking myself out of my daydream.
“Is anyone rus escort home?” he responded, laughing at my expense like he had any idea what I was thinking about.
“Oh, sorry. What’s up?”
“Do you mind if I borrow your phone?” he asked, staring at me with his frantic eyes. “I think I left my phone in my car. Can I use yours to call it while I check?”
Thinking nothing of it, I handed over my phone. Honestly, I just wanted to get rid of him so I could get back to daydreaming about my sweet angel.
As he walked away, my friend Jill grabbed my attention. “Are you okay, McKayla?”
Despite her interrupting my attempt to reminisce, I was actually much happier to converse with her than I was with Tom. Jill was my same girlfriend who took the cute photo of Emily and me. Ever since that day, I felt pretty comfortable talking to her about my relationship with my little cutie.
“I’m okay,” I finally answered, smiling as I thought about the photo. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Do you happen to be thinking about a certain cute little blonde?”
“Yeah…” I answered, giggling with my friend. Looking across the room again, I pointed out, “That’s where she was sitting the first time I approached her… the first time I slept with her.”
“I remember that night. I had no idea you talked to her after we left. But speaking of Emily, what did you do with that picture I sent you? Did you delete it like you said you would?”
My face suddenly felt warm as I looked back at Jill. “Of course I didn’t.”
After sharing a laugh, I realized I didn’t know where my phone was. I searched the table frantically, before asking, “Have you seen my phone?”
She gave me a blank stare as I hopped out of my seat and searched under the table. “You handed it to Tom a couple of minutes ago, remember?”
I got back into my seat, trying to play off my silly mistake. “Oh, right… I can’t believe I forgot, already…”
Nudging me on the shoulder, Jill replied, “Too much Emily on the mind, huh?”
We laughed together before noticing Tom reenter the bar. When he got back to the table, he handed back my phone. “Thanks,” he said as he showed me his own. “Found it.”
I grabbed it quickly, hoping he didn’t go through my pictures and see that photo of Emily and me. There were plenty of other naughty photos I didn’t want him to see either, but I especially didn’t want him to see my angel because… she’s all mine…
Only a few seconds later, Brian also showed up and took a seat at the table. With him and Tom there, the conversation changed into one of their pointless arguments about how much they could drink. As stupid as it was, it at least gave me a chance to ignore them and daydream about Emily again.
With the photo fresh on my mind, I had to hide my face as my thoughts became dirtier. I started wishing Emily was there with me so we could go home and have hot, drunken sex. With a few shots in me, I could really go fucking crazy all over that cutie.
Surprisingly, my mind quickly shifted from naughty to nice, as I thought about my sweet little angel getting drunk. Emily wasn’t much of a drinker, so I’d probably be more concerned about taking care of her.
To be honest, I think I’d be just as happy rubbing her back while she fell asleep as I would be eating her pussy. I guess that’s just shows the growth in our relationship. I cared about taking care of her emotional needs even more than my physical needs.
As a matter of fact… the more I thought about it, the more I realized my favorite part of having sex with her was… telling her…
I love her.
I was on cloud-nine as I walked from class to class. No matter what was happening around me, I was always daydreaming about hanging out with McKayla. I guess that’s just how I passed time as I patiently waited for the next change I got to see her.
Once I got to my final class of the day, I felt butterflies in my tummy as an exciting thought popped into my head. Maybe I should tell her I love her… like for real…
Sure, I was brave enough to admit it to myself. I was even brave enough to shout it during sex. Why couldn’t I just say it to her face, like during lunch, or when we are watching TV? That was how I really felt, so why not share that with her? I shared everything else with her.
After class, I started to wonder how McKayla would even react. Then I got all giggly, thinking, She’d probably react the same way she reacts to everything… Perfectly. I guess even if that beautiful woman didn’t actually love me back, I had the comfort of knowing she would still leave me feeling good about myself somehow. That’s just how great she was.
I was too busy daydreaming that I didn’t even notice Brian walking towards me until he yelled my name. As I was snapped out of my cloudy state, I realized he was standing right in front of me, smiling.
“Hey, Emily! I’m doing okay, but I wanted to know if you’d like to hang out.”
“Hang out?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Without McKayla?”
“Yeah, without her,” he responded with a smirk. “She can’t be around for this one.”
“Umm… why not?”
“Because it’s a surprise. I wanted to get her a gift for her birthday. I figured you could help, since you two hang out so much.”
My face immediately lit up like the Fourth of July before squealing, “I would love to shop for her!” I had been dying to shop for McKayla ever since she bought me all that stuff at the mall. What better opportunity than getting something for her birthday?
Despite our history, Brian and I went to the mall together in the next day. He was my ex and all, but it was all water under the bridge as long as I could help find a present for McKayla.
Oddly enough, it never really felt like we were there to shop for McKayla. It almost seemed like Brian just wanted to hang out with… me.
He kept doing stuff like trying to buy me pretzels or coffee, and window shopping at what he thought might be my favorite stores. I thought he was being nice at first, but when we went over an hour without even mentioning McKayla, I had to stop him and ask, “Are we still getting her a present?”
With a nonchalant look, he almost blew my question off like it wasn’t important. “Oh, sure. I’ll get her something small.”
“Something small?” I asked with a bit of frustration in my voice. “Why would you invite me if you were only going to get her something small in the first place?”
“I do need your help,” he explained, pointing out, once again, how much I hang out with the brunette. But then he changed his tone and shocked me by saying, “I just don’t want to get something sentimental because she’s not that type of girl.”
“Not that type of girl?!” I reacted, thinking back to all the emotional moments I shared with her. “Of course she’s the sentimental type of girl! Where would you get an idea like that?!”
There was a look in his eyes, like he knew something that I didn’t. With a little smirk, he asked, “Did you really fall for her charade?”
“Charade? What charade?”
“She pretends to care about people, but she really doesn’t. It’s just a way for her to get what she wants.”
“That is not true!” I exclaimed, stomping my feet as I furrowed my eyebrows at him. “McKayla is a super sweet girl! She’s one of the most caring people I’ve ever met!”
“Ha, that’s what I thought too… When we dated, I thought she really cared about me. She had me so convinced, I thought there was no way it could possibly be an act. She was fun to hang out with, but she has never been a genuine person. That’s what everyone has accepted about her, and I’m kind of surprised you haven’t figured that out.”
“No, you’re wrong… You don’t know the real McKayla…”
“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’re the one who is mistaken,” he responded with a light chuckle. “She just likes the attention she gets from pretending she cares about other people. I’m sorry you didn’t realize she was manipulating you, but that’s all this is.”
When I was dating Brian, he was kind of a jerk, but he wasn’t really a liar. I didn’t understand why he would make something like that up, but… it just couldn’t be true… could it?
With a bit of a blush, he looked away and smiled. “They say you never know what you have until it’s gone… I never understood that phrase until we broke up and I started dating her… Only then did I realize how amazing you really were, and how much of a psychopath she really was.”
“Psychopath?!” I screamed, trying my best not to make a scene. However, I was so offended for my sweet brunette, I completely brushed off that statement he made regarding our breakup. “Don’t you dare call her a psychopath!”
“I’m sorry for using such harsh language, but that’s what she is. She manipulates people into thinking she’s genuine just so she can get what she wants. Like… I bet you didn’t know she texted me the other day, trying to have sex with me.”
Suddenly, I was frozen as the world went quiet around me. It felt like I had been stabbed or something… Looking up at him, trembling like the broken woman I was, I asked, “She… tried to… have sex with you?”
“Oh, you thought you were the only one she was sleeping with?”
“I… uh… yeah, I guess so…”
Brian pulled out his phone and went to a conversation between him and McKayla. As he allowed me to look at his screen, my body went completely stiff, reading her messages to him, flirting in a way I thought she only flirted with me.
As he scrolled down, I saw the most painful thing of all. She texted him, “When can we fuck again? I’m so despirate for you.” It insinuated not only had she been trying to sleep with Brian, she had already done it. And knowing her sexual appetite, it was probably more than once.
“I’m so sorry you had to find out this way,” Brian said in a calming tone. ukraynalı escort He then placed his hand on my back before offering me a little hug.
“This can’t be true,” I said, staring at the ground as tears started to fill my eyes. “Everything we went through together… how could it all be a lie?”
“I’m here for you, Emily. I never wanted to see you hurt, but I’m glad you know the truth now. At least we have that in common. We can rely on each other for comfort.”
He continued talking, but if I’m being honest, I really didn’t hear anything else he had to say. All I could think about was McKayla… and the relationship I thought I had with her…
It was a school night and I had a test to study for, so I didn’t expect to hang out with Emily. After all, that would have been the responsible choice to make, wouldn’t it? However, when I got a text from my angel asking what I was doing, I was so quick to drop everything just to spend a single second with her.
She asked me if I was busy, but when I told her I wasn’t, she never messaged me back. I started to wonder if she would show up at all… until I heard a knock on the door.
As I opened it up, I could feel adrenaline rushing through my body, like it always did whenever I saw the beautiful blonde. But unfortunately, as my eyes met hers, I could tell something was wrong.
Emily looked upset, like something was really bothering her. I felt an immediate need to embrace her and make sure she knew everything would be okay. However, when I tried to put my arm around her, she sort of just brushed right past me. Shaking her head, she quietly explained, “I really need to talk to you…”
“Sure,” I responded, inviting her inside. But with every second that passed, it became more evident by the frown on her face that something was really wrong. I stood there patiently, breaking the silence by asking, “What’s going on?”
Throwing her hands down in a fit, she turned away from me and explained, “I just heard about some troubling stuff and I need to see if it’s true.”
“What do you mean?”
She finally looked at me, staring into my soul with her tearful eyes, and expressed, “I knew we were just having fun and all… but I didn’t know you were sleeping with other people.”
After doing a double-take, my body went stiff from the shock. Looking at her in confusion, I asked, “What are you talking about?!”
“I know you’re sleeping with Brian…”
“I am not sleeping with Brian!” I shouted, feeling confused and offended. “Where in the world did you get that idea?!”
For the first time ever, I could see anger in the angelic woman as she glared at me and shouted, “I saw the texts! You even tried to sleep with him the other day!”
“What texts?! What could you possibly be talking about?! This has to be some type of misunderstanding!”
“I need to see your phone,” Emily demanded, folding one arm around her stomach as she held the other one out. “Right now.”
Still completely overwhelmed by the normally sweet woman’s attitude, I handed her the phone. I couldn’t even remember the last time I texted Brian. I figured it had to be some kind of mix-up or practical joke.
After scrolling through my messages, Emily suddenly came to a stop and her body started shaking. With a tear rolling down her cheek, she shoved the screen in my face and demanded, “Explain this!”
I was left with my mouth wide open as I started to read over a conversation I never even remembered having. With so much anxiety running through my bones, I could hardly think of a scenario where that conversation would show up on my phone.
“This is exactly what I saw on his phone!”
“Emily… that wasn’t… me… You have to believe me!”
“Maybe you were just so drunk you don’t remember sexting him!”
“No… There is no amount of alcohol that would make me do that! Brian and I have been over for like three years… I swear this must have been some type of catfish situation…”
“Just stop with your lies!” Emily shouted, staring at me as the tears flowed down her cheeks. “I get it if I never really meant anything to you, but you don’t have to lie to my face! You don’t have to… manipulate me anymore!”
Although I strongly disagreed with the words that were coming out of her mouth, I just couldn’t stand there and watch her break down like that. Out of pure instinct, I attempted to put my arms around her, but she quickly pushed me off and turned her back again.
“You don’t need to comfort me,” she said in a cold and defeated voice. “None of this is real, anyway. At least it isn’t to you…”
“How could you say that? All the times we had together… nobody could fake that, Emily… What you felt was real… and what I felt was real too… You have to believe me…”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore…”
“Look… I’ll admit I never expected things to go this far when I first approached you that night,” I started explaining, pouring my heart out to the broken woman. “But I continued to pursue you because I learned how amazing you are… You’re the only one I’ve had sex with in years, but that doesn’t even matter… Even if we never have sex again, I’d still be addicted to you because I really, really care about you…”