Hi I’m Niki, yoga instructor from Europe, 165 cm, 60 kg, fake D tits, fake nails, fake eyelashes, loves shopping, gossiping, having fun…

So, here are some guidelines for men who want to date a girl like me.

First of all, it’s not going to be easy! I’m used to being treated like a princess. I expect that much. (Well except during sex, but more on that later). I’m a brat, a barbie, a bimbo, a princess, a pony, I have my moods, and you need to figure out where I’m at, if you want me to believe that you’re even paying attention.

Also it’s very important that I feel you’re paying attention to me. If you don’t, you’re out. I live for attention. Some say I’m an attention whore. (Some just say I’m a whore.) I love people noticing me, looking at me, talking about me. So it’s natural that the focus of our conversations should be me. My day. My friends’ private life. My coworkers. My wants and needs.

If you want to find an easy topic for conversation, the ways I’m better than your exes are always a good one. I mean, obviously, I look better, I have better style, my hair is nicer, my tits are bigger, my lips are softer, my ass is firmer (how could it not? I’m a yoga instructor!), my nails are more Gaziantep Elden Ödeme Alan Escort luxurious. Yes, I know that I also suck better, and my pussy is tighter, and I do let you cum into my ass, and in general sex is so much better with me, but in normal conversation, don’t mention this more than once, or I’ll think you’re needy. You can tell me all about it when we’re fucking.

But don’t ask me about MY exes. Well, you can, but you know you’re not perfect honey, so you might end up hearing things you didn’t want to. And anyway, you will hear more than enough of my exes at times when we fight.

If I want to hear about your friends, work and coworkers, it’s only so I can evaluate and judge them. This is good, sweetie, this is how I learn more about you. This, and from your behavior. Your behavior is being watched EVERY AWAKE MOMENT. By me and my similarly bratty girl friends.

Yes, even when you are not with me. The delays between your messages to me are important. Don’t appear to forget about me, but also don’t appear to be needy. Be witty and charming. Be strong, and vulnerable.

And when we finally meet, bring me presents. Presents are my language. It’s not that hard, learn my sizes and you can always buy me clothes. You’re lucky that I have this goddess body, almost anything fits me well and looks good on me. But please know my style! You buy me something hippyish or unstylish ONE TIME, and I’ll have to start to doubt your love towards me, and thus you.

If you doubt your eye in clothes, you can always buy me jewelry. The color gold matches my tanned skin nicely, and goes well with the warm-colored clothes I wear (pink, red), my little black cocktail dresses, and also my white almost-see-through dresses too.

But don’t expect too much in exchange for presents. Oh, I’ll immediately try them on, wear them, show off my body to you in them, but me getting gifts is not something special, it’s just everyday life. If you bought something real nice then you are in pole position for some superb sex with me, but you’re not there yet.

I expect expensive dinner dates. In nice places. Places that deserve seeing my hot body wearing my sexy clothes. Where the waiters are super nice and suave. They deserve that you tip them lavishly. You can be certain that I will be watching.

After dinner, you take me home. I will be noticing every little thing about your flat, first of all to know more about you, but also to discuss, in depth, with my girl friends the next day. I need to feel comfortable in your place. I need to be able to think, “I could be the queen of this place if it came to that”, even if it surely won’t – honestly, I’m not faithful enough to think long-term, but at least I know that. But for the few months before our final breakup tantrum, I want to think of you as a man of means. Maybe I’ll even say some nice things about you to my next lover to make him feel little…

Your bathroom needs to be like it was made for a superstar. I’ll be fixing my makeup there before our sex, so it’s important that it relaxes me. Some thoughtful little things are nice. But if I see more than one toothbrush, something in the trash, or any other sign of other women, then our breakup hysterics start now.

I will not get fully undressed, since I love clothed sex. But you can be sure that it will be very nice clothes, clothes that you have bought me, and which might not get ever worn again, depending how our sex goes.

And talking about sex, we’ll get there soon. This is my first submission on Lit, so I’ll submit it, and see the reactions. If they are good, I’ll continue writing this Most Needed Manual on Earth. Almost literally a new chapter to the Bible.

XOXOXO

Niki